Nothing In Return

To all who read this who are loved by God and called to follow His commands: May you find truth in these words-

God chooses the most amazing ways to communicate his message to me. Over these last weeks since coming back, God has been consistently putting people in my life to take care of me, fill my life with love, and to show me that He is always there for me, never abandoning me and making sure that I am well. But today something happened that in a way was more profound than any other experience that has taken place over the last few weeks. Today, someone gave me dinner for free.

It is not bizarre at all I believe to read this as a wonderful act, to be thankful for the random kindness of a stranger, to enjoy something that God chose to bless me with and bless the person through whom the food was given. These are all things I think any rational person would do upon such a nice thing as this happening to them. But beyond this basic understanding and thankfulness of receiving such a blessing, God chose this incident to reveal to me something that is often very hard for me to understand: humbleness.

Often when something is given to us, we feel the pressing need to give something back in return. Or even more serious, when we give something ourselves, how often is it that we expect something in return? One might say, "I never ask for anything in return!" but the truth of the matter is we all do. What we ask for is not something physical, or something material at all, no. It is something so much more obscure, passive and in a way, unnoticeable. In fact we even disguise our need for reparation in our societal norms, calling them manners and etiquette. What I am talking about, this reparation of which I speak, is recognition. Even if we never demand any favor or material return, we at least expect a thank you, or in easier terms, recognition for what we have done. Because of this need for reparation, because of our need to be recognized, giving is no longer the selfless act it should be, but becomes a way for us to feel good about ourselves. Giving is no longer about loving others, but about finding a reason to love ourselves.

The reason that me being given something free today was so, in a way, shocking to me was because the man who gave to me wanted absolutely nothing in return. In fact, the situation was such that I couldn't give the man something back even if I wanted to. I almost felt bad at first because I was not able to repay him in some way. But then I began to think and I realized, if I feel I need to repay him in some way, is what I have been given really free?

All of a sudden it struck me that the reason I felt so uncomfortable with the situation was because I had actually just witnessed a genuine act of love. All of which came from a complete stranger. Upon searching for other motives I found that there were none. There was no one else around for him to brag to, there was no incentive within his business to give food away free, and he will probably never see me again so he definitely was not trying to earn a favor. So why did he do this random act of kindness? Because of love.

Though God has been doing amazing things in my life these last few weeks and revealing himself to me in so many ways, this random act of kindness was a major message to me and reminder of what Christ's greatest commandment is to us: to love one another. The experience was exceptionally humbling also because I realized that to really love we must ask nothing in return. This is so against everything we have ever been taught but really it makes so much sense. We always want recognition for what we do, whether it be material or verbal. But that should not be to the motive for doing good. If that is the motive, then we show nothing but selfishness and greed. The motive for doing good instead should be the joy in following the greatest commandment of God: to love one another. If we help a man and expect reparation, we do not love him but love ourself. And by giving ourself credit and loving ourself, we deny God's blessings and thus do not love God. If we help a man and truly in our hearts want nothing in return, then we are truly following God's command, loving others and loving God.

The truth of God lies in love. If we love then God's truth is revealed to us for love is Truth and Truth is God. To know love is to know Truth, and to know Truth is to know God.

May your hearts be filled with holy love and through that love may truth come down. I pray that I may be pure of intention and open to the word of God at all times. But more than all, I pray that I may love as I am loved.

In the love of Christ,

Theophilus